Ratings for the show in the past tend to be high, but there was a brief hiatus while the hostess moved to Beacon. These are the show's transcripts, and Alyysa does her own writing, often inspired by the things happening around her.
Feel free to have your characters listen to the show in RPs if you so desire. In fact, let me know if you do, I want to read that.
(Property of Tsubori)
"Hello, Beacon, and what good chance you stumbled across my little portion of soundwaves, reverberating through the air in a beautiful and invisible manner. I am not the voice from above, or below, unless that happens to be where your radio is currently located. I am Alyysa East, and so long as you choose not to change the dial on your radio, I'm going to deliver you the happenings that you may not know, or don't know that you don't know. Welcome... To Under the Vale of night.
Our first bit of news comes to us from the fountain in the back areas of the campus. You know, that place nobody seems to talk about, go to, or acknowledge its existance? A few people have come up with reason to believe that that area is no more than a figment of our collective imaginations. They've been testing the area to see if they can really prove that it's real. Then again, if that area isn't real, what proof is there that I'm real? Or any of you? I know that I'VE certainly gone back there... Unless... Could I have merely gone back there in a dream? My... The water and the bloodstains sure seemed real. When I went out there in the midst of the night, just moments before, there seemed to be a loud metalic clank, perhaps of a blade meeting metal... In the minutes it took to locate though, nothing remained of the sound but memories and crimson stains on the floor. I can only imagine how others experienced that dream...
In other news, Old Lady Tephie, one of the janitorial staff, has claimed to have spoken with a crystal of dust. It claimed to be an angel, born from the dust, and perfect in every way. Tephie claims this particular Dust is stronger than all others, and manifested into a massive blue skinned bodybuilder. Unfortunately, before it could be reached for questioning, it conveniently hid back inside the Dust crystal, perhaps to emerge another day. Or observe.... Observe us all. Especially YOU, Cassie Levina. You, with so much to observe... You may be able to hide it from us, but let's see how you hide things from a dust angel that may or may not exist.
Hold on... I'm getting a breaking news report from Happy Jack's daycare, on the corner of Rolliand and Jayne street, next to Mark's Pizza. Apparently, a pack of wild dogs have made their way into the daycare, and have attacked the children and staff. Casualties have been avoided thus far thanks to the complimentary pepper spray and assault rifles given to every child attending the daycare. Attacks from the wild dogs are believed to be related to some sort of gang violence, and we can only hope the dog gang does not gain small arms of their own.
On that topic, today's show is sponsored by Mark's Pizza. There's no pizza better than Mark's... Absolutely NONE.
This just in, in the dog's hasty retreat from Happy Jack's daycare, they moved westward, showing that they were merely covering up a larger crime. A large tag has been spraypainted onto the side of Dust Till Dawn, depicting a Boarbatusk wearing a top hat while riding upon a unicycle. Hey, it looks like the wild dogs are quite good artists, too... Underneath the amusing little picture are words saying "this city is unBOARable." Oh my... While the pun is a bit ham handed for my tastes, it seems we're dealing with quite the libertarian street artist gang here.
Now then, while I wait for more information on these cute little corgi rebels, I'll give the rundown on a few key events happening this week. Monday is Turtleneck day in the Beacon Library, and just a reminder that late fees have gone up to the point where the fee exponentially increases daily. Fingertips are accepted and count as a ten dollar substitute.
Tuesday will be the annual Vale fire department parade. Remember to leave all gas stoves off while you attend, as ALL Vale fire fighters will be too busy parading to save your home.
Wednesday is a fitness and health seminar in the auditorium of Beacon, delyed from last week for the fried chicken and cigar seminar that took its time slot.
Thursday, Ozpin is planning a rainstorm, so regardless of what the weather network tells you... Pack an umbrella.
And of course, Friday, oh glorious friday, is that day of the week again where Barth works out in the local Beacon training area. Come an hour early for preffered seating, and consider bringing body armor. Can never be too careful with the girls who watch him work out...
That's all the events this week, but next week is sure to be packing just as much heat. Now, authorites are trying to catch the dog gang, which has thus far been unnamed. They've contacted dog specialists, and.... Oh wait... I'm being handed a piece of paper, thank you, intern Dylan... Apparently, the pack of dogs have escaped outside city bounds, and as it turns out they were actually NOT in fact, dogs... Merely very hairy criminals. Oh well, common mistake. And here I thought that word on his shirt, reading "thug life", was merely clever patches in his fur. Alas, it is a moot point now, as the gang has made it to the forest. Pray for these street artist gang members now... For there is no telling what gruesome death awaits them in the forest.
But I digress, I think the moral of the story is to ensure your pets are all fixed to ensure a more resposible pet. Just bring them to a Vale Veterinatrian, or to Mark's Pizza. Mark likes to cover a wide spectrum of careers, and can work as a Veterinarian, surgeon, private detective, male stripper, and of course, the god of pizza making. What a guy, that Mark.
And now, Alyysa's science corner. Did you know that a soccer ball going over 140 kmph is capable of decapitating a normal civilian? Niether did I until last summer. This has been...... Alyysa's science corner.
Oh, the mayor of Vale himself is making an impromptu press conference in regards to the dog-not-dog gang that was terrorizing the town. He said with a furrowed brow and sweat pouring down his face. "There was no gang at all. Merely leaves in the wind people mistook for a gang of violent criminals." I'm sure little Isaac Runnle, age 4, would beg to differ, given the stab wound on his lower torso, but who am I to question our mayor? If he says it was leaves, it probably was. Silly us.
And upon us so soon... It is the late hour of midnight. My time is up, but remember... Professor Port will be checking homework tomorrow. Unless you're a girl, in which case he's checking it now from your window. Good night, beacon, and may the Vale of Night take you."
Cast your gaze to the flickering light in the Emerald Forest.... It will not hurt you... But it is attracting a LOT of cats. Welcome, Valeans... To Under the Vale of Night. I'm your humble hostess, Alyysa East, and I have just booby trapped your radio to prevent channel changing......... Okay, I didn't as some have you have just proven, but the thought existed, if only for a moment. So now, dear listener, let's jump right into the news.
Students at Beacon have reported seeing a strange creature roaming the campus, it is slender, walks on four legs, and was fully in shadows. Details could not be made out at all. People theorize this to be some sort of Grimm... Rare and never before seen. Could this be, fellow students? The mighty god of all Grimm? Or perhaps god of us all... I know most of us are of the faith that a giant blue walrus from space created us... But how can we simply shrug off these events? Oh... I'm getting word that Tianee Musk, fellow first year student... Has reclaimed this god, calling it Neil. Perhaps we will later question her on where she hides this god... This... Strange deer llama god... In due time, listeners. In due time.
Also of note is that several Teachers have noticed the training room showers seem to have an odd smell, not typical to them. The teachers all seem to have their own takes on what it could be. Professor goodwitch thinks some students may have planted a prank or something. Professor Oobleck tried to make a statement, but spoke too quickly for your humble reporter to make out, and Professor Port? Well, I tell you Professor Port simply chuckled, an eyebrow raised. It seems whatever this smell is, it is not for us to know. Well.... Most of us.
Our last new story from this week comes to us from the Vale Traffic Police force. They have reported that several spectral cars have been seen tearing through the streets in the evenings, giving no regard for standard traffic laws. The Police would like to remind everyone that ghostly cars do not dictate the flow of traffic, and such tickets will be handed out accordingly.
Now, let's go over some rumors, not entirely confirmed. Normally, I like to keep the news as proven, and trustworthy as they come... But word has spread that renowned Actress Kasumi Gallota has been seen on campus in a school uniform. Could the celebrity herself be attending our quaint little school, hoping to improve her acting? Nobody knows yet, but what I DO know, is that if she is indeed here... Her locker is B65. I'm sure she keeps some personal stuff in there.
Oh, my new intern, Daniel, has just given me a new report from the groundsworkers of Beacon. They say a single Beowolf has been seen running through the main square of the campus! The authorities were going to shoot and kill it, but it was wearing a party hat, making several people curious. It has intrigued the thought that Grimm may be capable of high thought, such as remembering birthdays, and partying. Scientists have begun looking into this, and more information will arise as it is gathered.
Now, as we move onto the weather, a notice that this episode is sponsored by PartyMax retailers. Nothing spruces up your party like a visit to PartyMax! For all your party needs, from balloons, to costumes, to confetti, nothing is out of the question, and everything is affordable. PartyMax, on the corner of Oum and Main street. Now with ten percent lower mortality rate than last year. Good job, PartyMax!
For this week, the sun is going to be out and about, along its usual predictable paths, as long as Professor Ozpin doesn't need the sun elsewhere. As for temperature, it's going to be hotter than the sun in the middle of July! Mostly because it IS in fact, July. So hit those beaches and get those electric fans! And guys, get those binoculars, because there's no telling how warm SOME rooms will get. These conditions should be maintained throughout the week.
And I would like to mention that during Professor Ozpin's planned rainstorm last week, only a measly eightyfive students were killed, which has oddly brought the school average up by a staggering six percent! Leave it to Ozpin to make the most of natural selection, and our hearts go out to the families of those lost. They may have brought the school down. but I;m sure they kept your hearts up. Our condolences.
Now a reminder to everyone at Beacon, especially those with low grades, that Monday through thursday is the Beacon career fair, where dozens of booths will be set up showcasing what you can do if the life of a hunter isn't just right for you! Bring your resume and photo identification, though if you forget, they'll quickly launch a full investigation of your past, and print a picture taken by hidden surveilance Camera. Students with low averages, and those who are getting VERY tired of Professor Port's Moustache, are Strongly urged to attend.
Last year's career fair featured four high profile arrests, and very exciting raffle prizes! Tickets are 20$ for most, but if secretly armed, 45$. Save money by hiding weapons REALLY well.
Now more on the Party hat beowolf, which has been appropriately named Olaf. Olaf was asked several questions of varying difficulty, and responded in a quite shocking way! Several violent snarls, then biting off the hand of the head scientest. Olaf was executed, and the research team disbanded. The conclusion? Grimm would make HORRIBLE students, and any who view Grimm as people are surely going to lose limbs. Why would you even WANT to have a Grimm friend anyway? All they do is EAT EAT EAT. Authorities are now investigating nearby keggers for the source of the Party hat.
Allegedly, Professor Jiana has been seen wielding colourful language during classes, citing that "These students are far too uneducated. They see a textbook and immediately take everything in it as fact." So, in a large scale movement started by a group likely too lazy for class, a petition has started making textbooks illegal. This is SURE to end well. *faint knocking in the distance* Oh... How embarrassing, someone's at the door... One moment, listeners.
- out of breath, after much fumbling with the microphone* Ah... There.... We go. Ahh.... My apologies everyone, there was someone who had VERY colourful words about my roommate Requiem. What he does with that mans sister is of NO concern of his. Even though it eventually came to blows, we found out the man IS in fact... Epileptic. So.... My bad. We'll call it a learning experience. This is a good time to mention that Mark has branched out into body removal and clearup crews. So while you hear the latest hit from those who brought you "This will be the day", I've a phonecall to make.
And we're back, and our room is clean. That Mark. What a guy. Anyway... It's tame for Alyysa's science corner! After a visit from the mysterious hooded physicist known only as the Cobalt Curver, I now know Vytal is not alone in reality. There are realities upon realities, containing many worlds. Even worlds that look into other worlds as entertainment, and to that I say... What a sick concept... What if someone looked into our world for entertainment? That'd be horrible! Could we even have any privacy were that the case? Would we even know? When I asked for more information from Cobalt Curver, he simply chuckled, saying how fast this reality was before running away, rambling of Mach and joules. I'm.... not entiurely certain who this guy is.
Now, as our last little bit of tonight's show, I'd like to draw attention to just how amazing the action of gulping is. Need to show how nervous you are for an upcoming appointment or legal case? Need to get AS MUCH water into you as fast as possible? Maybe you just want to REALLY annoy the person sitting next to you on the aircraft. Try gulping! The first person to gulp when I say Go, gets a prize burried by an unmarked, unremarkable rock in Forever falls.... GO!
Whoever won, go claim your prize, but as for me... It's getting late, and a lady's gotta sleep. But remember... "Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as "Nevermore.".... Good night, Vale.
Hide your loved ones and learn to not breathe, for Official Beacon hide-and-seek day... Is upon us. Tips for survival later in the show... If you last that long. I'm Alyysa East, and Welcome.... To Under the Vale of Night.
Our first bit of news comes from our own reporter, Alyysa East. Which is me. People seem to be have made complaints about me being gone for quite some time, not on the air. This is preposterous though. As you can clearly see, this broadcast is on during the fouth week of our time here at Beacon. To imply a great length of time has passed since my last broadcast would be implying that either a week is a long time, or you've percieved a different timeline that perhaps is NOT graced with my lovely show. Point is, you can count on me to deliver you the news every week reliably, even if it seems I've been gone for a while.
In other news, last monday, Huntress in training Purpla wandered into downtown Vale, visiting a nearby pre-school. The children there had never heard of Hunters, and thus started believing Viola to be the ONLY huntress, following her as their goddess. Even though they have been told other Hunters exist, apparently this is now their religion. What repercussions this may have are yet pending, and whether this will anger the mighty Reginald is up in the air. As is Reginald himself. Space, specifically.
Now, our broadcast scientists have been noticing something quite strange lately around the Beacon Campus. Many people who were here at the start of the year... Are simply gone. We don't know where they are, but there are many people saddened by the disappearance of their friends including my own teammate, R-.... Uhh... I'm recieving word that apparently I was never on a team with a man named Requiem... How strange... Maybe this otherworldly being, in all his power, is erasing our histories with those people... I don't know what this means, but at the very least, my broadcasts have been warded with ancient runes, and they should hold, even against godly power. So you can count on me, listeners.
Next, there's a production by the hypnotist-drama club, and the director, Spark Micheals has assured us that the actors under his hypnosis are proving amazing actors, and their production will be coming to stages sometime before the winter. All he would tell me about the story is that it's some sort of post apocolyptic land with bizzare monsters attacking a city, so the survivors in the city use their own monsters to survive. Sounds thrilling. I'll be sure to get a ticket as soon as those go on sale!
So some of you may remember from last week, how I mentioned the god on campus, and fellow student Tianee Musk herding him away, calling the god Neil. Well, Now I have Miss Musk here in my studio, also known as my bedroom, specially tidied to appear more comfortable. So, Tianee, how are you today?
- Tianee: I'm doing fine, thank you for having me on your show Alyysa.
- Alyysa: Not a problem. Always good to have people here I can look in the eye without neck pains. But anyway, why don't we cut right to the chase. What's with this god people have seen you with? Are you blessed by it?
- Tianee: Umm... I'm sorry, but what god are you talking about?
- Alyysa: Well... Since last week, people have reported you being sometimes around a strange, shadow hidden being you seem to call Neil. Is this god at all powerful?
- Tianee: *gasps* B-b-but how... I mean, I've hidden him.. Did Idina tell someone? I told her NOT to tell anyone, jeez!
- Alyysa: Aha! So you ARE housing a god! Tell us, Tianee, what is its power? Does it give you protection from anything?
- Tianee: Of course he would protect me! He's my best friend!
- Alyysa: Your best friend, huh? How did that come about? Few are lucky enough to be friends with gods, at least that's what that creepy Stjarnstill guy says.
- Tianee: I saved him and took care of him when he was injured. Other people often make fun of me, but I don't care!
- Alyysa: Make fun of you? For saving a god? Jeez, how rude! I really think people should be lining up to thank you for it! So... What can this... Neil do?
- Tianee: Tell me about it, some people just doesn't understand how friendly Neil is. He's amazing, and very strong too.
- Alyysa: Oh, he's friendly? I should certainly hope so, considering a friendly god is a helpful god. You'll be able to throw in the fish pretty early in life if you keep HIM as a friend.
- Tianee: Well, not really. Neil has been pretty worn down lately. He's quite old for a reindeer, and I don't want him to push himself.
- Alyysa: Oh? A reindeer god? I was under the impression of Llama, antelope or something. And he's old? How old is old for a god?
- Tianee: ...God ? Neil is just a normal reindeer.
- Alyysa: .......What? I was under the impression he was a god. Apparently, a number of people were.
- Tianee: Gosh, no! Neil is just a normal reindeer from my hometown. I brought him here because I didn't want him to be lonely when I'm not around..... Wait, the teachers doesn't listen to this, right?
- Alyysa: Not sure, though I think Professor Port winked at me the day after one of my broadcasts. He does that to MOST girls though so.... Iunno. Anyway, now that the God issue has been resolved, I think this is a good place to leave off. Be sure to pick up the autobiography being written by the apparently NOT a god Neil. It's called http://rwbyfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Broken_Antlers and it hits the shelves christmastime this year. Pre-order a copy!Thanks for being on with me, Tianee, and now a word for our sponsors.
Do you want to train? Get stronger? Play video games? Punch a giant dragon monster in the face? Now you can! Go to Schilla Gaming HQ and try out their new virtual reality system. It's let you do all sorts of fun stuff that's usually impossible! Located on Kerry Crescent. Even better when the company you work for pays for it! If you're up for a different kind of training, ask her about the Social interaction Sims.
Listeners... Hopefully you've lasted this long on Official Beacon Hide and Seek day, which I will call Ob-has day for the rest of this broadcast. Hopefully you've stayed hidden in your room as you should. But if you hear knocking, for the love of all that is strange, do NOT open that door. We've already lost far too many students to the terror known as Ob-has day... And... If you just so happen to be It, and are listening... You monster. You know what you've done. If anyone with you says the word It... Eliminate them before it's too late! While I am hidden safely, I'll continue bringing you the news, even if only to distract your terrified minds.
Last night, a Beacon student was arrested for picking a fight with four young children, and he hospitalized all four. When being asked why he did such a thing, he merely flipped off the authorities and said that he was an amazing fighter for winning a fight against four people. It is likely he'll be handed off to Anthem Asylum for the rest of his days.
And now for Alyysa's science corner. Did you know that eating human or faunus flesh is terrible for the body and causes a huge range of illnesses and malignancies? So think of your body. Don't eat people. This has been... Alyysa's science corner.
And unfortunately, listeners, that's all our time for today. Be sure to tune in next week. Which will be in about seven days, give or take. And remember... Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but abstinence makes the arm grow stronger.